idk its 3:20 am and im tired as fuck + this is more gender neutral i guess??
i know people who are trying to fit into the social norm
like squeezing into last year's prom dress
i know people who are low rise, smeared mac eye shadow, and binge drinking
i know people that wonder if they're disaster and sexy enough to fit in
i know people who are fleeing bombs from the mosques of their skin
playing russian roulette with death; it's never easy to accept that our bodies are fallible and flawed
but when do we draw the line?
when the knife hits the skin?
isn't it the same thing as purging
because we're so obsessed with death
some people just have more guts than others
the funny thing is those like us don't shoot
we swallow pills, still wanting to be beautiful at the morgue
still proceeding to put on make-up
still hoping that the mortician finds us fuckable and attractive
we might as well be buried with our shoes and handbags and scarves, everyone
we flirt with death every time we etch a new tally mark into our skin
i know how to split my wrists to reveal a battlefield too
but the time has come for us to reclaim our bodies
our bodies deserve more than to be war-torn and collateral
offering this fuckdom as a pathetic means to say,
"i only know how to exist when i am wanted."
people like us are hardly ever wanted, you know
we're used up and we're sad and drunk and
perpetually waiting by the phone for someone to pick up and tell us that we did good
well, you did good.
i know i am because i said, "i am."
my body is home.
take your hands over your bumpy love body naked
and remember the first time you touched someone
with the sole purpose of learning all of them
touched them because the light was pretty on them
and the dust in the sunlight danced the way your heart did
touch yourself with a purpose
your body is the most beautiful royal
fathers and uncles are not claiming your knife anymore
are not your razor, no
put the sharpness back
lay your hands flat and feel the surface of scarred skin
i once touched a tree with charred limbs
the stump was still ( )eathing
but the tops were just ashy remains
i wonder what it's like to come back from that because
sometimes i feel forest fires erupting from my wrists
and the smoke signals sent out are the most beautiful things i've ever seen
love your body the way your mother loved your baby feet
And ( )other arm wrapping shoulders, and remember
THIS IS IMPORTANT.
you are worth more than who you want to fuck
you are worth more than your weight
you are worth more than beer bottles displayed like drunken artifacts
you are worth more than any naked body could proclaim in the shadows,
more than a man's whim or your father's mistake
you are no less valuable as a size 16 than a size 4
you are no less valuable as a 32a than a 36c
your sexiness is defined by concentric circles within your wood
it is wisdom
you are a goddamn tree stump with leaves sprouting out